Since the day I left my high flying job as the Head of Logistics and Procurement for a Telecom Company, the thought of opening my own company took root in my mind. It has consumed me to the extent that I have researched every possible Free Zone Setup in UAE and have got a cost analysis for all the Free Zones setup. I can actually start a consultancy selling that information. But what is keeping me back from actually opening a company?

Its my innate ability to put myself in dilemma. If I do this, then will that suffer. Neither is "this" defined, nor is "that" defined. Neither is "this" so important that I want to define it, neither do I put an effort to give importance to that, so "that" gets defined.

Why have I grown up and matured into this self-doubting individual? When it came to taking decisions in a company affecting millions of dollars, then I never once took a step back to reflect on the weight of responsibility that rested on my shoulders. I was so confident that I have covered every angle, because I did my research properly, made my case strong, and left no corners untouched. I knew all my options and faced the challenge head on. If there was still a problem, I went on and worked till it no longer was a problem, rather we had a solution and we had a closure.

I can take on new projects. I can bring closure to projects. I can make sure the costs are all accounted for. I can make sure the targets are met, I can call the shots. What I cannot do is call myself the Boss.

Is it because I was always asked to step back and not gloat, and now that I have taken a step back, I feel the pressure of stepping forward is too much for me? Is this what is called Aging? Or is this what is called Running Away from Responsibilities.

You have never met me, you have never seen me work. I am an anonymous human being to you. Judge me and tell me what can I do, now that I have spoken my mind out to you.